Say Anything, Miami, and the Return of P90: Vacation, Day 1

It’s back. Well, sort of.

For those of you who don’t know, about this time last year, I started… well, what would you call it… “hell in a living room” that is marketed quite seductively on infomercials as P90X. Yes, I bought something off an infomercial. And no, it’s not nearly as cool as the Ginsu Knife. Or the Sham-Wow. But, with P90, I was sold… after about a year of watching cynically.

The concept being that, in 90 days, you can get into the best shape of your life by adhering to a set of principles based upon something called ‘muscle confusion.’ Sort of technical, but it works… at the expense of your sanity.

It’s not like they lie to you or anything. They tell you it’s going to be tough. They tell you that you’ll work out 6 days a week until you reach the goal. They’re fairly intentional about saying, “Yeah, this is going to hurt… but it’ll be great! Hooray!!!”

What they don’t tell you is that if, for some reason you actually start doing the thing, you’ll say and do things that you’d never thought possible. I mean, if someone were to walk in on me while I was doing Kenpo X and yelling Daniel LaRusso style (“Put him in a body bag, Johnny!!!”), they would have had every reason to have me detained.

The thing actually does work, though. I dropped 30 pounds and three pants-sizes in about 4 months, was feeling pretty dang good, and actually had the nerve to start another rotation of 90 days. I don’t know why… I guess I was in a zone with my newly acquired Jedi powers courtesy of fitness guru Tony Horton. Either that or I was flipping insane.

But then I got sick in the middle of round 2. Some sort of parasite and intestinal infection sidelined me in July, and that was the end of it. Was sick for a few months, and, well… you know how it is. Back to Bojangles and the Great American Cookie Company. Living the cream-puffed dream.

So, tonight, on my first day of vacation, I decided to get off the proverbial couch and get back to work. Enough of watching football… which I spent most of the day doing. Enough procrastination. Enough complaining about stress that, for whatever reason, sits in my chest and weighs me down like I have a date with the floor.

Enough. Enough. Enough.

I decided to ease my way into things and start off with P90’s introductory program: Cardio X. 40 minutes of combined yoga, Kenpo, plyometrics (jump training), and core exercises. There was a time when this wasn’t a problem for me.

That time is no more.

While Toonces gazed on, probably wondering why his “master” was back in the business of Downward Dog and Three Direction Kicks, I slowly transitioned back to the insanity.

And this was the “easy” workout.

Immediately after starting, I remembered how I, a pastor, used to think that 60 minutes of plyometrics had to be some sort of proof of God’s inexistence.

I remembered the nights I spent praying that our Lord would cast a bolt of lightning upon Tony Horton as he urged me to keep going, to “bring it,” and to stay away from Krispy Kreme while I gagged for air and reason.

I remembered the times when I would sit and stare in disbelief as P90 leadership would demand that I do 40 pushups… one-handed… followed by a triple-axel… while administering a sleeper hold… to a ninja… at the end of a workout.

I remember those days. With such “fondness.”

Man, it’s great to be back.

Other ramblings from the day:

1. Watched Say Anything today. Great, great flick. Though a lot of people remember when Lloyd (John Cusack) holds the stereo over his head while blaring Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes,” that’s not my favorite scene. I’m a big fan of when they’re on the plane at the end and Diane looks at Lloyd and says, “Nobody thinks it will work, do they?” And what does Lloyd say? “No. You just described every great success story.”

Well said, Lloyd Dobler. Well said, indeed.

2. For those who haven’t heard, our college group is no longer headed to Haiti for our Spring Break mission trip. More than likely, we’ll be headed to Miami… hopefully to work with the community of Little Haiti down there. I’ll say more about this in another entry this week, but, after doing a lot of reading today, I’ve come to a couple of conclusions:

a. First, I read an interesting article in the New York Post about how people perceive the presence of American troops in Port-au-Prince and outlying areas. There are some in Haiti (and abroad; e.g. Fidel Castro) who worry about an “occupation.” There are many others who welcome Americans (and the worldwide community) with open arms. It’ll be interesting to see how the situation plays out. How will the world maintain its support of Haiti while being sensitive to fears of colonization and/or occupation? How will we know when it’s time to go? And will those decisions be made on the world’s terms… or the Haitians’?

b. The second thing I’ll say is that I’m more and more psyched about the notion of going to Miami this spring break. No, it’s not Haiti. Of course we’re disappointed about that. But, I think that working with the Haitian community down there could bring up some really interesting questions. Namely, what role will immigration law play in ministering to the needs of Haitian nationals? What role will amnesty play in all of this? How will our country respond to an exodus of people from Haiti to the States? I really do believe that a trip like this will allow all of us the chance to wrestle with these sorts of issues, practically-, theoretically-, and historically-speaking.

3. Two books I’m in the middle of reading. Both exceptional, so far. Mountains Beyond Mountains, which is about the growth of Partners in Health in Haiti. And Open, Andre Agassi’s autobiography. Y’all should take a look.

Okay… that’s enough for now. Until Day 2.

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~ by presbytide on January 25, 2010.

One Response to “Say Anything, Miami, and the Return of P90: Vacation, Day 1”

  1. Love the idea of going to Little Haiti as a renewed mission trip! I’m also slightly jealous – how dumb is it that I’ve never been to Miami even though I’ve lived in FL for 20+ years? Anyways, kudos on an innovative approach to your original plan!

    Also – I am curious as to how those P90X moves will translate into energizers during Theta.

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